Ted Rall: Travel Tips That Don’t Suck

Posted By Ted Rall in Travel

BreakingModern - Most travel advice focuses on budgetary extremes. Magazines and newspapers cater to those willing to spend $850 a night for a hotel room — who are these people? would they like to rent me as their bestie? — or crazy frugal $20-a-day sorts whose idea of splurging is a room with running water. Then there’s the rest of us, members of America’s shrinking middle class.

We want or need to go somewhere and our budgets are limited, but we want to stay in a real hotel, eat at decent restaurants and maybe rent a car. What about people on a budget, as opposed to a chewed-up shoestring?

Unless someone’s footing the bill, that’s me. I travel the nation and the world (First World France to Fourth World Afghanistan), and I don’t break the bank — but I don’t travel like a hippie unless I have to. Here are some of my approaches to saving money and time while reducing hassles and maintaining a basic level of civility that makes travel enjoyable.

International

Balance the Cost of Staying versus the Cost of Getting There. Round-trip airfare to Third World vacation destinations like Thailand, Vietnam and Bali is expensive, currently around $1800 round-trip from the United States. Once you get there, however, meals and housing can be had for next to nothing compared to back home. Winning strategy: stay a long time, at least two weeks, four if you can get away that long. Other places, like Mexico and the Caribbean, are cheaper to get to (around $650 r/t now) but more expensive by the day. Throw in the shorter travel time and it’s a no-brainer: a 3-to-5 day visit makes the most sense.

Forget Europe. France is lovely. It’s my favorite country. But the cost of European trips is too damn high. Meals are crazy pricey (I’m still smarting from the $55 pizza in a totally non-touristy local joint in Italy), hotels are ridiculous ($200 gets you the equivalent of a Motel 6 in rural France) and airfares have doubled ($1300 to Paris from New York is typical). The dollar is worthless against the Euro, so shopping is out. It’s a big world. Check out the rest of it, or go on business if you can pull it off.

Travel independently. You’re young, you’re smart, who cares if you only speak English? Tour packages pack in big mark-ups for operators and insulate you from adventure. In developed countries such as in Europe, hit the Tourist Information office when you arrive in town. They’ll arrange a hotel room for you, usually for less than the official price. (I used to resist this, but it usually works). And screw Eurail passes. Rent a car if you drive. It’s cheaper, faster and lets you see the countryside. In developing nations, the cheapest housing option is usually with a local family. Everyone needs money, so your $20 or $40 or whatever a day will be much appreciated. Take local buses and chat up everyone you meet. You’ll eat great and meet cool people. I’m an introvert, so to keep fresh and recharged I alternate between hotels and homestays.

Domestic

OnTheFly is a smartphone app that includes a nifty option for people whose schedules are flexible. Say you want to go from Tampa to New Orleans for five days, and you’re fine leaving any time between November 1 and November 20. OnTheFly shows you a chart of airfares by day, allowing you to choose the cheapest departure date. The interface is breathtakingly simple and intuitive. Only two issues: Southwest Airlines isn’t on it, and you can’t book your flight. Even so, it’s essential.

Drive, baby, drive. For journeys where the drive is six hours or less, consider driving rather than flying. You’re avoiding — rough outline here — an hour trip to the airport, the hour you have to be there in advance of your flight, let’s say an hour and a half travel time, plus maybe half an hour awaiting a checked suitcase at the carousel, then an hour from the airport at your destination. That’s five hours, not accounting for weather and air traffic delays. Even allowing for the high price of gas (obviously always rent subcompacts, since they’re cheapest and most fuel efficient), driving is often the best choice. No $30 fees for extra bags, no jerks pushing their seat back into your knees and no TSA agents stealing your toiletries. Two or three “fly” for the price one when you hit the road.

Reserve a car. You can reserve a car rental and blow it off without penalty. You don’t even have to cancel. So if you think you might need a car, set one aside.

Avoid the cheapest car rental agencies. Check Expedia, Travelocity and other travel sites and you’ll see two or three car rental companies whose rates are lower — like, a lot lower — than the cheapest outfits you’ve actually heard of (Avis, Enterprise, Dollar, Hertz, National etc.) Don’t succumb to the temptation.

Companies like Fox have terrible reputations for screwing over consumers with extra unexplained charges, charging them with damage to vehicles that they had nothing to do with, and so on. With car rentals, the cheapest is often the most expensive, so go second-cheapest.

Try AirBNB. It’s been remarked upon elsewhere, but it’s still baffling that the more expensive a hotel is, the more they nickel and dime their customers. In Washington DC, for example, even modest hotels easily go for $200 a night. Then they hit you up for Wi-Fi ($10-$20) and parking ($30-$60). Try Airbnb.

In the same market, a luxurious Airbnb apartment is closer to $150 — and you get Wi-Fi (and often parking) included. There’s usually a kitchen, so you can save on eating out (at bare minimum, breakfasts and coffee). Since I’m antisocial, I search for the more expensive “Whole Place” option (you get the whole place to yourself). If you’re cool with staying in a room or suite inside a house occupied by its owner or tenant, you can pay much less — more like $100 — in the nation’s capital.

Mi-Fi. Wireless Internet is a necessity. If you stay at hotels at least 3-4 nights per month, get a personal wireless device that connects to an LTE or 4G network. It’s cheaper, and you’ll be amazed how often you find yourself using it (like when the connection at Starbucks sucks.) Those with the fastest (not like home, but decent) connections go for $60/month. Warning: streaming video will cause massive overages and heart attacks.

Drive or Ride to the Rental. Big-city car rental rates can be exorbitant. In Manhattan, $125 a day is standard. But $55 is the norm on Long Island. Spend a little time on some of the major rental firm’s websites, however, and you’ll find it might be worthwhile to take mass transit to an agency in the burbs. Or drive. Many suburban agencies let you leave your car in their locked lot overnight.

Keep Your Thirty Dollars. Not long ago, I witnessed a fellow coach-class traveler check in on an airline kiosk. He paid $30 to check in a bag, another $30 for a row with “extra” leg room, $30 to board earlier, and $30 to use the lounge. That’s $120…on a two-hour flight for which he could have gone business class for $180. (I asked. He was paying out of pocket.)

Airlines love suckers like that dude, but seriously? Invest in a rolling suitcase that fits the smallest biggish planes. If you need more room, add an equivalent size bag whose side slides over the handle and rides on top of the first one. (Most airlines count this setup as “one item.”) Don’t check bags at the check-in counter unless they make you; if you have too many bags, they’ll force you to do so at the gate — which is better since they won’t collect the $30 there. Screw extra leg room! Airlines shouldn’t be rewarded with billions in revenue for taking something standard away and selling it back to you. (I’m 6’2″, so I have skin in the game.)

And about boarding earlier: Don’t. The lounge might be a good investment — but only if you’re going to be there a few hours. Last but not least, remember the sacred traveling adage: bring half the clothes and twice the money.

For Bmod, I’m Ted Rall.

Cover Art: Ant Pruitt